This is a strange day for me every year. Bear with me on this one…
My amazing daughter always writes some wonderful things for and about me every year on this day. I remember when she was little, my Mother’s Day gift every year was the same thing. She would come outside into the garden with me and help turn the soil, rearrange the rock wall that surrounded it, plant flowers, etc. Mother’s Day has historically been the day when the weather turns from sort of Spring where you can still get frost warnings at night, to actual Spring where you can smell the change in the air.
The reason it’s a strange day for me is because my own Mother and I were never really close until the end of her life (she passed away back in 1991). She was an abusive and angry woman. She had a lot of different problems I won’t go into here, but if I sit and think on her life, I can sort of understand how she got to be the way she did.
So every year Mother’s Day rolls around and I see all my friends post all these wonderful things about their own Mothers and I feel left out of that. So this year I decided to try to remember even the smallest kindness she ever did for me.
Here’s my list:
- She used to play the card game Rummy 500 with me. I’m not altogether sure if she enjoyed it or not, or if it was just something she decided to do, but every couple months she’d pull out the card deck and for an evening, we felt like a normal family.
- I was always clothed, fed and had a roof over my head. I know that sounds like a simple thing, but it wasn’t. We were poor and regardless of the abuse, these basic necessities were still met.
- She bought me a poodle when I was 16 years old. Her name was Cassidy and she was the love of my life up until the point.
- She put a pool in our backyard for me to swim in. I was born with bunions. They were incredibly painful. The slightest tap on the side of my foot would send me into the fetal position in tears. The pool was one of the ways I could exercise without hurting myself.
- She made the holidays special. Every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas she put on these huge spreads of food and for those holidays she made sure to be kind.
- My inchworm and over sized tricycle. They were kept in the basement and I’d go down there and ride them back and forth for hours on end. It’s actually one of my fondest childhood memories.
That’s not a long list, but it’s something. I remember those moments fondly. I also remember how unhappy she was with her life and how every year on Mother’s Day I’d make her a handmade card. I’d hang it from the ceiling right outside her bedroom door, using a very long piece of tape. She’d open her bedroom door and walk right into it every Mother’s Day. I can’t remember anymore what she said or how she felt about them. But I remember being happy to do it for her.
So this Mother’s Day, for all the people who still have their Mothers and for all the people who have loving Moms, be good to them. Show them you love them. Appreciate them. Not just on Mother’s Day though. Do it every day of the year. It just takes a moment to say, “Hey, I love you and I appreciate your sacrifices.” My daughter takes the time to do this for me and I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to know I’ve had such a loving and positive affect on her life. ❤
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mom’s!